Personal growth

I'm a selfish person. Ask my parents. I like to do things for me and I like to get my way. My friends in college used to joke that I thought I was the center of the universe (I'm not quite that selfish) and once, in the lobby of a hotel, my friend Jonthan rotated like a star around my sun to illustrate that fact to his wife and my friend Jennifer. Yep. Sometimes, I let what I want get in the way of what other people want. Now, I think this selfishness has gotten better as I've gotten older. I'd like to think of myself as more thoughtful, a much better listener (this I know to be true, actually), a better friend, more giving. But this year is the year to beat all years -- because this year, knitting made me a less selfish person. Why?

Because I love knitting for other people. I don't know what it is... I love making things for friends. I love giving away knitted things. I love buying yarn with the intention of sending it, miraculously transformed, to someone else. There are actually very few things I have knit for myself. I woke up this morning, started reading yarn blogs, and started planning yarn to buy for friends when I'm allowed to buy yarn again. I don't know why I feel this way... Maybe it's because nothing really lives up to my expectations and I can only see the flaws in it? Or maybe, and this comes as a shock even to me, it's because I love the process more than the actual product (except, maybe, with these Canal du Midi socks -- progress photos to come later because the ones I just hastily snapped against my keyboard computer stink and it's too cold to go outside in my pjs). I can't wait until April. I have two gift designs in my head that I'm dying to buy yarn for... at as a treat to myself (and the gift recipient), I'm going to buy the yarn for that project from Sundara. Because I'm dying to try what everone else loves (did I mention I'm a follower too?)

Thank you all for your posts and thoughts and comments. I really appreciate it. I'm trying to learn how to make it so I can respond to posts via e-mail with out having to look up the poster's e-mail address and then type it into my gmail account, etc. etc. There must be an easier way... other people do it. And I have responses to everyone!

So... the sun shines yet again, despite the rain and snow and blackness we had yesterday. I have three rows of canal du midi to rip out, six to knit, and then I'm onto the heel flap (and I have the disturbing thought that I might need a second skein of STR to finish these, making them the most expensive socks of all time... i'm keeping my fingers crossed).