25 March 2006

Personal growth

I'm a selfish person. Ask my parents. I like to do things for me and I like to get my way. My friends in college used to joke that I thought I was the center of the universe (I'm not quite that selfish) and once, in the lobby of a hotel, my friend Jonthan rotated like a star around my sun to illustrate that fact to his wife and my friend Jennifer. Yep. Sometimes, I let what I want get in the way of what other people want. Now, I think this selfishness has gotten better as I've gotten older. I'd like to think of myself as more thoughtful, a much better listener (this I know to be true, actually), a better friend, more giving. But this year is the year to beat all years -- because this year, knitting made me a less selfish person. Why?

Because I love knitting for other people. I don't know what it is... I love making things for friends. I love giving away knitted things. I love buying yarn with the intention of sending it, miraculously transformed, to someone else. There are actually very few things I have knit for myself. I woke up this morning, started reading yarn blogs, and started planning yarn to buy for friends when I'm allowed to buy yarn again. I don't know why I feel this way... Maybe it's because nothing really lives up to my expectations and I can only see the flaws in it? Or maybe, and this comes as a shock even to me, it's because I love the process more than the actual product (except, maybe, with these Canal du Midi socks -- progress photos to come later because the ones I just hastily snapped against my keyboard computer stink and it's too cold to go outside in my pjs). I can't wait until April. I have two gift designs in my head that I'm dying to buy yarn for... at as a treat to myself (and the gift recipient), I'm going to buy the yarn for that project from Sundara. Because I'm dying to try what everone else loves (did I mention I'm a follower too?)

Thank you all for your posts and thoughts and comments. I really appreciate it. I'm trying to learn how to make it so I can respond to posts via e-mail with out having to look up the poster's e-mail address and then type it into my gmail account, etc. etc. There must be an easier way... other people do it. And I have responses to everyone!

So... the sun shines yet again, despite the rain and snow and blackness we had yesterday. I have three rows of canal du midi to rip out, six to knit, and then I'm onto the heel flap (and I have the disturbing thought that I might need a second skein of STR to finish these, making them the most expensive socks of all time... i'm keeping my fingers crossed).


Theresa said...

And this is just why I love your blog - such a thoughtful post. Because knitting is a metaphor for life, so you may as well talk about both at the same time. Doesn't knitting bring out the better angels of our nature?

As for comments, blame Blogger because it's all about the "blogger profile" instead of email addys. However, if you have a public email addy with your blogger profile (e.g. I have a gmail acct just for my blog), then it shows up. But you can't make other people do it. Some people install haloscan comments onto their blogger blog, but they are only archived for a certain period of time, not "forever."

Leah said...

I agree with Theresa, it's a pleasure reading about your knitting & your reasons for knitting!

Oh & I tagged you (if you want) over at my blog.


Chris said...

Maybe you'll have to knit yourself some sun socks, just for fun! ;)

Sundara yarn will be a great treat!!

amanda said...

I think you are right on the mark. I find myself day dreaming about all the things I'd like to knit for the people that make me smile.

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